scaredy bird 

the fifth dimension. 

Great News for Utah!

Because I have been doing so much overtime, my work is going to let me take extra days off this year to go to the family camp in Utah for the 24th of July.

I will be there from Monday, July 17 to Sunday July 23. Feel free to schedule appointments to hang out if there is something special on a particular day that you would like to try to take dips on me for. I don't know who will be coming with me yet.

For those of you in dire stress over what to get me for my birthday, here is a list of things I would like that is long enough that I can still be suprised about what gets picked:

• a wireless router to network the PC to the laptop (I have a wireless card on the laptop already)
• an i-pod (Mark is going to buy one, if you want to pitch in) and a wrist carrying pocket thing so I can use it while I cycle.
• a large supply of white or black ankle socks all matching style in a nice brand name (ped, adidas, nike...)
• Guitar stand
  
• cute pajamas
• Victoria Secret lotion (pink or green)
• Women's Large T-shirt with "Rosie the Riveter" saying "We can do it!"
• Stuff I like that might trigger gift ideas: art and writing utensils, scrapbooking, coffee, massage, letter-writing, and working out.
  

knot appreciated. 

smell my head. 

morbid curiousity.

morbid curiousity. 

grain of sand. 

educating children about god. 

The flip side of mother's day. 

Keeping Up

I finished all my finals over the last week. Now I have tons of overtime from work to keep me from posting anything interesting. I have 32 extra hours on top of my regular 40 this week.

I decided to postpone the exam until August. 13 extra weeks to study.

teacup vigilantes 

deadline. 

lingerer. 

Alternate Time Line

In an alternate timeline, I took my last final yesterday and it was a smashing grand slam.

In the current timeline, my alarm clock did not go off and I got a big round zero.

On the bright side, I no longer need to worry about pushing my grades up that little bit to graduate with the highest honor, but can be content to rest solidly in the middle-honors bracket.

I'm handling it with abnormal calm and resolve.

just when you thought it couldn't get any worse... 

darn shootin' 

platitudes of graditude 

Semantics

I want to draw a distinction between logical reasoning and common sense. I notice that a lot of people use these names interchangeably. I use both techniques to analyze the world and justify my thinking, but I am careful about which one I use for which. I think it is important to use logic to justify one's thinking, whereas the lesser accurate but useful common sense serves well for analyzing the world. The comparison:

Common sense: makes use of cultural norms and a general overview of social framework to place into context the new idea. A couple of great examples: The neighborhood is rough. Take your pepperspray. The Islamic tradition, preoccupied with following law carefully, often requires elders (who are specially trained in techniques of common sense) to take new, unencountered situations and frame them within a metaphor that fits already encountered situations in order to determine the moral standing of the new situation within Islamic law or Sharia. The cost of healthcare makes having good health insurance not just a safe bet, but common sense. I use this to make sense of and navigate my world successfully.

Logical reasoning: makes use of mathematical operators and standard procedures for generalizing statements into arguments. Those arguments can be tested by strict procedures for "soundness, truthfulness, and validity." It is not necessary, in general, to know what the statements even are in order to see if the argument "makes sense." At no time would anyone use their feelings to interpret whether something is true or not. I use this kind of reasoning to determine whether my beliefs and opinions make sense, since it is hard to remove oneself from one's opinions or beliefs to evaluate them without a strict objective process.

Usually, when someone says someone else's logic is bad, what they mean is that person has little or no common sense.

butt homework stinks 

Make up my mind

As you've noticed, I'm posting my comics now. They're fun. But they don't do any good in my filing drawer.

Anyway - help me decide... I'm trying to logically decide if it is better to take my big exam next week with a very low probability of passing just to have some experience with it or reschedule it for the end of summer and study like crazy all summer. Either way, I'm out money. Rescheduling is cheaper than taking it twice. My practice tests are getting 40% or lower. I will only be buying 12 weeks to study, or roughly 250 hours. I might improve by 25% or more... which may put me in the curve at the lower end of the passing 40% of test takers... I don't want to feel like I'm procrastinating to avoid responsibility. Especially since I already rescheduled once, and I'm not much better off with the three months that bought me because school priorities in the balance made it hard to put in more than 5-8 hours a week. I would prefer never to look at the study materials again. If I reschedule, I would need to put myself on a very disciplined schedule and not mess around during the summer much at all. (What a bummer.) But, I would probably be studying for it again if I failed anyway, so there's not much difference in that respect.

come on lady, jump already. 

kung fu master 

I Like Jamie and other significant facts

Jamie is really making me jealous that I'm not trekking with her in Tel Aviv. I would love to see the holy land. I wouldn't mind Morocco and Egypt either.

I have two finals this week and then I'm free, free I tell you (to study further for my big exam.)

My big summer plans include taking a summer course on Buddhism to complete my minor in religions requirement and scrapbooking - tons of scrapbooking. I still haven't scrapped the weekend vacation Mark took me on to propose last July. You might say I'm a little behind.

Speaking of little behinds... we started our second weight-loss challenge on Tuesday. For this one, we are all keeping a food/exercise journal and bringing it to class on Tuesdays in order that others can scowl and tisk. I've never kept one for more than 24 hours. But so far, it is really an eye-opener. I measured out suggested servings on everything and at the end of the day, I only had 850 calories. I guess they weren't kidding when they say portion control and if you read the size of the serving... (I was shooting for 1200.)

I'm starting to obsess about biking. I want those padded gel panties that you never want to see anyone biking in public in, and some of those shoes that strap in to the pedals so that when it's time to stop you can't put your foot down and you crush your elbow into your collar bone and die, and one of those fancy racing bikes with skinny, tractionless and unsafe looking tires. Reason? I like to feel strong. (and when my old favorite clothes fit again, I can start a new retro 90's fashion movement.)

Final Weigh-In

SEVEN pounds. Seven is my new favorite number.

Document D-day

I declare that my mini-war with the Social Security Administration is now over. I won. My nemesis security guard was not at work today, so I got in the door... and got my name change processed - finally! One really should not have to wait more than two hours for administrative changes that are commonplace and required by law. They need to raise the number of windows open to the power 4.

I did get two extra hours of study time during time that I ordinarily spend doing something I'd rather be doing.

The monotony of my own posts these days is really boring me to death. How are you reading this?

Try New Things

We are using Mozilla Firefox as our internet browser now. It looks funny.

However, it did get the mini-video on Stephanie's webpage to play. I was pretty excited about that. (Stephanie, your video works... you don't have to take it down.)

Also, I tried a few new healthy exotic-ish snacks:

Roasted Wasabi Peas. So spicy hot that my nose and eyes started running but the heat is gone so fast that I was back for more. I was worried that they would be hard like corn nuts, but they were more like "crispy" than "crunchy" and I liked them.

Dee's Mighty Muffins. I tried the flourless oat bran, sugarfree, flourless, and fat free, but still with a fluffy muffin-ish texture. They were filling and hearty and basically low-cal. (If you don't miss the point and smother them with butter.) You really feel like you're endulging, but really you're just getting your fiber.

Pretzel Chips: Slices of fat free prezel, lightly flavored. Really big on flavor. Great with a dip. Downside is that 8 chips later, you're in for 100 calories. Not counting the dip.

Anyone have any suggestions or tips on how to improve one's concentration or focus? I need to study, but I am having an attention deficit moment every time I sit down. I'm burning low.

This Week's Picks

In the entertainment realm, I recently watched the following.

Dead Like Me - Second Season on DVD. Awesome.
SCI: Miami - First Season on DVD. Sucked, didn't finish it.
CSI: NY - First Season on DVD. Not as good as Vegas, not as bad as Miami.
Shield - 2nd Season. Awesome.
Memoirs of a Geisha. Just as good as the book, which never happens.
The Squid and the Whale. One of those movies we like that no one else likes.

Lots of TV. This means that nothing good has come out on DVD in a while and we've seen everything. (Except TV, which we never watch.)

Massage Challege Update

You may recall that three weeks ago, I took a "biggest loser" weight challenge with my spinning class at the gym. The winner gets a massage.

You have to either cut out of your diet or burn an additional 3,500 calories per week beyond your normal routine in order to lose a single pound each week. I misunderstood that this was for two pounds, so I only cut/burn 3,000 calories for the challenge. I already go to the gym on a semi-regular basis, so I don't get to count that and half the week, my diet was already really good... so I don't think I can find another 4,000 to try to meet the challenge goal (8 pounds per month - I don't need to be that aggressive, anyway.)

I decided to stay on the challenge at my 1 pound per week rate (because being accountable to these ladies every Tuesday at weigh-in is good motivation - they actually cheer me and give me woo-hoo's) and buy myself a massage when I meet my personal goals.

I am really getting into cycling. I might even buy the special shoes that clip into the pedal. Mark and I are talking about renting some expensive bikes to go out on the canals before it becomes an inferno. I want to see what it is like on the street, because I am getting competitive, and I could see myself entering races in the future.

So, next week is final weigh-in for this month's prize... I will post my net loss next week. My group has attracted people who want to join the challenge, so we are going to do it again next month for the same prize.

Graduation Info

Maybe it's a little early for this info, but I am a planner and maybe you are too and want to plan for this.

My Commencement for graduation will be held on Th. Dec 14, 2006 at the Wells Fargo Arena. The event is open and free to the public, but I can reserve space for family to sit together if I know how many tickets to get. I will be getting a bachelors in mathematics with a minor in religion with an honors designation (I won't find out which one until I get my grades back from this semester, but it will probably be Magna Cum Laude.)

I would like to have a little party afterward, food and games.

At some more reasonable point in the future I will be sending out announcements for the Commencement. I am not sending "invites" to my shindig. It's just afterwards and for anyone who wants to come. Let me know if/when you know you are coming so I can order enough food.

This is the cummulative result of five hard years of my life's energy, so I am kind of excited. I think I will not start a masters program for a few years so that I can focus on getting my Associateship designation as an Actuary. (The certification process can require 6-10 years of study.)

I want to buy myself a convertible as a graduation present when the Escort dies and goes the way of scrapmetal heaven. (Funny, that rhymes with Evan. I guess I spoiled the surprise, Ev.)

Fun Puzzle

Here's one from Chana's extra credit at school.

Each letter represents a digit from 0 to 9.

T R I E D
D R I V E +
_________
R I V E T

Hint: You have to think about carrying over from the farthest right column to start.

Spring

I really love the desert when it is cool and the flowers are blooming and the air is moving. It looks and smells and feels so beautiful. I had this moment the other day sitting on a bench at school that was really surreal... taking in the fleeting, remarkable moment.

Glad I enjoyed it. I think our three days of spring are over and summer is on. I got a sunburn on my arms walking to my car today.

I just got into full swing on exam prep and today I got assigned a research paper. It is so hard to keep up, prioritize, and make everything work. If college teaches me anything, it will be endurance. I'm so excited at the prospect of it winding down.

My cat, Akira, just jumped up on my lap and went to sleep in mere seconds. This never happens. (The sitting on my lap part, not the sleeping part.) This particular cat hates me and loves Mark. (But Kazi loves me. He lays on my back while I sleep. I presume he is also sleeping.) Note of the obvious: Cats sleep a lot. Do they have some kind of special brain activity that requires a particularly high level of rejuvenation or something?

I decided to answer my own question and did a little research on cat brains and sleep. Apparently, they sleep 2/3 of the time. However, they have a unique state in which their brains are sending out high voltage signs of wakefulness while their entire musculature system is completely slack (a sign of deep sleep.) Perhaps this state of wakeful/deep sleep is a factor in the need for lots of sleep. (The brain not at rest during most sleep periods.) I bet this is a predator thing.

I am recommending the book "Study Manual and Solutions for Exam P of the Society of Actuaries" to anyone trying for the exam. It is very good. I have avoided it previously because the problems are crammed in together so tight that it is hard to read. But the effort is rewarded. If only the editor had formatted the pages...

The cat's awake now, so I can get up and go to bed without feeling guilty for cutting the rare lap-sitting moment short.

Egg

Yesterday was a blast. I love holiday food. (In particular, the M family has a great green rice.) One of my favorite games is catch with those velcro mitts... but we played a lot of fun games (highlights include making words out of the letters of "Happy Easter" and Mark making a killing at chess.) I helped the kids decorate a cookie house with candy. It turned out really sweet. In the evening, we walked to the golf course lake and fed the ducks and geese while the sun went down. I had camera problems, so luckily it was memorable. I think we'll get a pic of the bunny-house later.

All I have to show for Friday

I have been really interested in drawing knots lately. I don't know what it is. It's like assembling a puzzle that you have to make up the peices for. It's a compulsion. Knotty, isn't it?

Total Nerd Paradise

Give your self (or your child) a mental leg up in the math world. Learn to count in binary on your hands. Don't take #4 personally

Info

Congratulations on your arrival to the Universe, Andon. I have a new nephew.

I TEST in 35 days.

My graduation commencement will be December 15, if you are planning to attend. We were going to have a luncheon and games to follow. I am getting a BA in Mathematics with a minor in religion.

Any out-of-staters planning a Utah trip this year? I would like to go, perhaps coordinate dates with you?

Four weeks of classes left. I expect a perfect report card (as usual.) I'm not bragging. I'm just smarter than you.

I lost 3 pounds in week one of my biggest-loser challenge that my cycling teacher from the gym is sponsoring. I really want the prize: a massage. (I'll need it after all the extra workouts I'm putting in.)

We should do something special for Sade, I'm thinking something scary. His birthday falls on a numerically significant day this year.

I'm late for bed.

Stephanie's Birthday Party

I took Saturday off to go to the best kid's bday party I've ever been to. Stephanie had a "Survivor-Maui" themed party where all the kids drew to be on either the orange team or the green team. They got headbands with the survivor logo on them and gender appropriate necklaces as token for the challenges they did. They had to compete one-on-one to find bubblegum under a pile of whipped cream with their hands behind their backs, find and assemble large poster-board puzzles, race to collect item (such as candy) and had a water balloon game that turned into a water fight under the sprinklers. The final challenge was who could stand on one foot with one hand on their head the longest and the winner got to keep the "idol." Pizza, cake and the usual. Tons of fun.

Hey Mark - Enable your Comments!

Mark's quotes on his blog reminded me of this gem I stumbled across. My fractal class was discussing the new intelligence of human behavior and how much of what we do in a given day is auto/programmed patterns. It got me thinking. And then I remembered that thinking is taboo in our social structure. We value it in theory, but don't like new ideas that come from it.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

~Oscar Wilde

01:02:03 - 04/05/06

A neat numerological occurrence today... won't happen again in our time-keeping system for 100 years.

New Goal

I took a weightloss challenge at the gym today. Some girls in my cycling class and I put some money in a pool and whoever loses the most in the month of April wins an hour massage. We are all shooting for a massive 8 pounds. (That's about the most one can expect to lose heathfully and requires cutting or burning 3500 calories per week.)

These ladies are tough competition, but there is only one thing I love more than food... massage.

I had carrots for dinner. I might keep a food/workout journal for this one.

Physics is Weird

E=mc² implies that as you accellerate, your mass actually increases.

If you were in a spaceship that could gradually go faster and faster forever without concerns about fuel or anything... you could never get fast enough to reach the speed of light. As you got faster, your mass would increase and slow you back down a little. (Accelleration is not speed and applies in any direction.)

Light can go the speed of light because light does not have any mass. It is thought to be the only thing that is massless in the univese.

We can go the speed of sound because sound has mass.

A Faire Tyme

Stephanie, Jennifer and I went to the Rennaisance Festival on the last day that it is here in Phoenix before it moves on to Texas. We spent the better part of a warm day, got some good sunburns and enjoyed some interesting activities. We watched a comic skeleton ventrilliquist named "Ded Bob" or Muerto Roberto to the ladies. There were some good Morse Dancers and Bagpiper/Drummer people. I was impressed with how many kilted guys and Fairies I saw. (I did not inspect the kilts, so I don't know the answer to that question you are thinking, but I did see a couple of kilt inspectors. I forgot to ask them.)

This is Jean. She's from Africa and she let me and Stephanie have a ride for three bucks each.

This is evidence that the Queen was flirting with some dude in her court. We looked all over the village for the King to show him the photographic evidence. But, when we finally saw him at the joust, he was getting ready to duel and was declaring war on France and he looked pretty upset already, so we just let it go.
I rented a costume. Note: I am not a wench.

Re-Viewing

This weeks movie watching included:

78 - History of Violence
75 - Capote
63 - Complete Season 4 of CSI on DVD
80 - Bladerunner

(Scores are out of 100)

April Fool's Day

Stephanie is 10 today. Her party is next Saturday.

It is the one-year anniversary of Ben and Karen's accident. It is still hard to belief that it happened at all, let alone that an entire year has gone by since.

Career Day

I looked fabulous in my suit, but realized that I should have "practiced" wearing it before the event. The skirt kept slipping up the liner, I was out of my comfort zone, and I felt like I kept pulling and adjusting too much. There were a lot of other students also totally decked out, so I'm glad I didn't go the dress casual route.

The event was a seminar. First a presentation of basic information about what it takes to be an actuary was given. Then, a panel of people who have just started the profession and have one, two or three years experience talked about what their day was like (sorting and resorting spreadsheets in excel all day with a few meetings here and there,) what the exams were like (there is a sequence of them to accredit and the students all study 2-3 hours every day for their next one but their employers pay them for some of their study time.) Finally a panel of actuaries (who have the ability to hire) talked about what it is like to be an actuary. These people were really impressive. They just command respect and you can tell that they are important. They said they spend all day in meetings and rarely get to the computer. They talked about what they want in candidates they hire. They made me very excited and very nervous.

The interview process sounds like several panels of people who ask very good questions. I've never been in a panel interview. And they talked about questions they ask and, well, lets just say that I am going to do some role-playing before I go on any interviews.

During the breaks, people milled around passing out resumes. Three of the employers have internships in the immediate future, and one employer even brought their HR rep with. I waited in line to talk to people but never made it before the next panel started. Luckily, after the panels were all finished, I was in the front row and had a better idea which employers I would want to have an internship with. So I got to talk to everyone I wanted to and in most cases, no one was behind me waiting for their turn. I also avoided wasting the time of people who require an exam first. (I can contact these people after May if I pass.)

I also realize that a lot of people don't expect to pass the exams. There is only a 40%-ish pass rate. I still feel good about the level of studying I am doing and if I keep up this pace, I think I will at least come close to passing.

75%

I was able to take my test late. I got 100%. But after she docks the points for late-taking... at least I can still get an A in the class, I think.

Tomorrow is the big (Career) day.

I bought a wine colored velvet suit. It fits very well. All the sleek black and navy ones were baggy in weird places or long on my stubby arms. The velvet one I got has round gold buttons and despite being very professional as an ensemble, I think if I accessorized appropriately, I could use it as a halloween pirate costume. I couldn't find shoes to match, so I am wearing some black maryjanes that I have. I think they will look o.k. And my resume is finished (I think - I'm giving it another once over later tonight.)

I also got off work tomorrow for the first half of my shift so I can get some sleep after the event.

How Do You Forget Something Like That?

I forgot to take a test today. It was open book, on-line and I totally forgot to do it this morning before I went to school (Crazy me, I ate dinner instead!)

So I get home late - had to stop off and get gas, get stuck in construction traffic, had to drop something off somewhere. I get home 10 minutes after the test closed. Luckily it is only 12% of my grade. But if I can't take it late, I think an A is out of the question.

Evan - I owe you an apology.

Everyone else - never take your planner out of your bag because it's heavy. Failure is heavier.

Mark Got Lost

We were driving around an old neighborhood by our house where Mark used to go to skateboard when he was a kid and he actually got turned around and misplaced North. Finally, after 9 years, I have some evidence that he isn't perfect. I had to write it down because otherwise, I will think it was a hallucination.

I'm a lucky gal.

I also have no spacial reference whatsoever. North? People are in touch with such a concept? I don't know what they are talking about... if the sun is in an obvious place in the sky, then I can tell you East and West, but North? Now that doesn't have a sun. And at noon, I let Mark drive. He and North have some kind of special relationship that only recently had its first upheaval of any kind.

Today, I did graph some fractal sets (some variations of the Julia set) in the complex plane for my fractal class using technical computing software (which hates my guts, so this is more fantastic an accomplishment than finding North!) I posted some terrible scans of my results on my fractal class weblog. The pictures are so beautiful in the program but they are really, really large files, so I haven't figured out how to post them so that the detail shows.

This week - A Preview

I have two papers to write this week. One on analyzing a Native American ritual using some dude's theories on ritual and another about three ethnic variations on death and burial practices. Sounds thrilling, yes?

Friday is the big Career Day, where I will be meeting with 12 potential employers in the valley for a seminar. I am hoping to score an internship for summer or fall or both so that I don't have to take anymore classes. I am going to try to get my resumés printed tomorrow with pretty raised letters. If that doesn't work, plan B is in the works for an independent study program to work on technical software and actuary application of my math skill (I am getting referred to a professor that might sponsor that work who is a retired Actuary.) Plan C is also in the works, since I have preregistered for Fall classes. I hope I get to drop at least one in favor of one of the latter options. (I have an easy math one and an ugly stats one.)

I also have a date with Jennifer and Stephanie to go to the RennFest on Sunday. It's the last weekend, so I hope we don't have to break it. I think it sounds like a blast. Jamie has some pictures of her experience this year and it looks so fun.

Stuff I Like

I think this baby is super pretty.















Chalula Hot Sauce.

The new Harvest Grain DiGiorno Pizza.

EarthBound Farms' Organic Herb Salad - I eat this for lunch literally every day. I fix it up a little differently to switch things up sometimes, but my favorite is with Kraft Caesar Parmesan Vinigrette and Feta Cheese.

Engaging people with different ideas in stimulating, not-always-agreeing conversation / seeing things through different perspectives.

Thinking outside my comfort zone.

Not following my heart. (It's not a reliable source. I like my head better -- once in a while it agrees with my heart but not always.)

Playing with children.

Writing on a blank piece of paper - especially if it is pretty paper.

Family.

Spring Break in Pictures

We started out on Hollywood Blvd.

We hit the coasters the next morning.
Then Evan and I got some chopper action.


While Jennifer and Stephanie stayed at the park playing.
I think I look exactly like Brandy.

In fact, if I couldn't see Knottsberry Farm in the background,

Mark never would have been able to convince me that this wasn't her.

This was my favorite custom.