Why I Hate Federal Programs

I went to the social security administration to change my name for valentine's day. I learned a few things. So, a bit of advise for anyone entering a federal building.

Read the fine print on the door of all the things you aren't allowed to take in. Or better yet, leave your whole purse in the car. Especially your cell phone.

Don't show even the mildest of contempt when the security guard dumps your purse out on the counter no matter how humiliating you feel this is.

Don't bother explaining to the security guard that you were planning to take your cell phone to the car but wanted to see if they had any forms by the door. They expect you to read the door and not have anything with you on the list. They only tell you so that they can trespass you from the property so that you can never come back and conduct whatever important business it is that dragged you there in the first place.

I am so glad that I am not some little old lady who can't read signs very well who depends on her social security check to get by.

I called to complain about this power-trip of a guard, and the lady on the line said he must have had some reason to assume that I was an urgent security risk - and that I should have read the sign. It must have been my deep exhale when he grabbed my purse and dumped it on the counter. He told me to "take my attitude and leave." I would've shown him my attitude, but I figured this power happy idiot would probably have my in guantanimo bay by dinner.