houseboat with legs

This wonderful pic of Me, Z, and Madhuri was taken 6 WEEKS AGO at 24 Weeks! I am defying the laws of physics with this tummy.

fave

This picture of my mom and dad when they were first starting their lives together reminds me of Mark's Valentine's Day gift to me... He reminded me of the times when we were young, naive, and silly in love.

Mark and I think that Valentines Day is for people who suck at expressing their love and appreciate for each other every other day of the year. We don't celebrate it, in other words. But, because it has been harder to find the time for dates, thank yous, and because we are both pulled at both ends by the demands of life... this year we both gave each other something. Ironically, we gave each other almost exactly the same surprise. We told each other the story of us, in our own way. I gave him a small picture book with every picture ever taken of both of us together along with a little children's story of mom & dad that he can read to our girls, and I told him that he could name the new baby the name he likes. He gave me a long, eloquent, deeply personal love letter telling me about how our history together has shaped our future to be awesome... and the ends says that we should name the new baby the name I like.

Now we both have insight into how our lives have impacted each other and still no clue what to call our new little one.

28 weeks

My friends, who are also throwing me a traditional Indian party for my baby shower in a couple of weeks, pitched in their wedding jewelry and the dress outfit I am wearing for these pictures to celebrate my entré into the 3rd trimester.

The gift the universe keeps on giving is is a cold that I haven't been able to kick for weeks, which continually reminds me that my last will and testament is out of date. I believe that I may, in fact, be the first woman to suffer the much more serious and even life-threatening "man cold." I've never coughed this hard (until I actually throw up on myself!) or hurt this bad (that I dip my entire face in hot water to relieve the sinus pressure!). Ugh.

And did I mention that I'm in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy? This means I am suddenly and completely physically miserable from the neck down in ways unimagineable. My darling blossom is defying gravity by standing on my spine and poking her head straight out as realistically depicted in the diagrams shown here:

Oh, and Zola has some kind of stomach virus and is throwing up and peeing out her butt with a fever.

In generally, what I'm saying is that it's a really joyful time at our house.

[Editors Note 3/8: As of today, we have been properly verbally abused by both my doctor and Zola's doctor for waiting too long to finally jam pack our cupboards with antibiotics. Zola has severe dehydration, stomach flu, 2 teeth coming in, and an ear infection and I have a seriously advanced sinus infection, e.g. tooth and neck nerves are involved and I can't open my right eye all the way. Don't be so foolish. When you or your baby doesn't recover within 5-7 days, just go to the doctor. No need to wait three weeks to "tough it out.")

13 months

I kind of skipped a few months because life happens.

But, Zola has changed so much lately that I just have to blog about her. She's so inquisitive and industrious at this age... Here is a short list of new things she can do:

- kneel without sitting on her ankles and very well all while she bobs to music, plays with toys, etc.
- open a lid, place something inside, and close the lid - then reverse that.
- put the rings on the pole toy, clap for herself.
- say "ahhhhh!" when she wants you to shovel another bite into her mouth
- walk while holding her wheeled cart-walker toy without falling down (much)
- fall down, get up, go back to whatever it was without crying
- press a button with one finger (or thumb if it takes more torque to press.)
- say "dada" for dad, "mama" for mom, and mimic single syllable sounds you make.
- make a crawling run for it whenever the hall door gets accidentally left open. She really wants to eat the cat litter and can get there in less than 20 seconds.
- fall asleep without her pacifier (but she can't STAY asleep w/out it. She always wakes up a few hours in and cries until you give it to her.)
- pull herself to standing using unstable items without toppling (she just needs something to touch for balance, not pull on.)
- turn the lights on/off, turn the TV on/off/channel, etc.
- pick up all her spilled cheerios and put them back in the bowl by herself, because she wants to.
- on command "where's the baby?" she covers her eyes, then quickly removes them so you'll say "Peek-A-Boo" or "There she is."
- tells you why she is crying. If it's a diaper, she grabs her diaper. If she's hungry, she grabs her tummy. If she's teething, she grabs her mouth. If she's tired, she collapses dramatically (especially if she doesn't want to sleep) and rubs her eyes. If she's frustrated because she can't do something, she hits herself on the head (which never fails to crack me up).

We got some fruit popcycles and gave her one and it might have been the best day of her life. She's still very open to eating whatever we give her and the only things she doesn't care for is plain mashed peas (who can blame her.)

birth story -- part 1

This picture was taken just a few hours after she was born.
And this picture was taken the day we came home from the hospital.
At about 5:30 AM on Mon Nov 9, I started having nice even contractions that were tolerable but significantly different from the Braxton-Hicks ones I had been having. I am excited because we had an appointment for a scheduled induction for that evening at 10 PM and I really wanted to avoid inducing if possible and was agonizing over keeping the appointment or rescheduling it to give Zoe some extra time to start things on her own.

My first thought? We should go out to breakfast. Today might be a big day and we will need to fuel up... so off to Charlies, my favorite little diner in the Farmers Market for pancakes and hashbrowns. I had an appointment with my OB at 9:45 AM - from now on I am going to call him Dr. Awesome. Anyway, Dr. Awesome tells me that I should keep the appointment since it helps labor and delivery to know I am coming, since I AM definitely going to the hospital today. I am dialated to 3 cm. Mark goes to sleep so he can be rested for the big event and Eva and I promise to wake him up with plenty of time to shower and get bags ready before we have to go to the hospital.

By noon, my contractions are every 1/2 hour and Eva and I are walking up and down my streets trying to get things going a little faster so that we aren't going too slow by 10. For the most part, I can keep walking when a contraction hits, albeit slower and more steadily. By 3 PM, I have to stop walking and hold onto Eva's shoulder and contractions are 15 minutes apart.

We have worked out a system where I rate the pain on the contraction as C for comfortable, B for better and A for ahhhhouch. We both realized we might need something after that... At 5:53 PM I was sitting in my rocking chair with my shiatsu chair topper and a heat pack so relaxed that I was almost asleep when the biggest contraction so far hit. Maybe it was the context, but it was unbearable. That's when I uttered the first of only TWO cuss words during the whole labor & delivery. (I know, amazing right?) I walked directly into the computer and told Eva, "Blankety-Blank-Blank -- I'm getting the epidural." And I threw out my entire birth "plan" just like that. After that, it was very hard to figure out what position, technique, and rythm was going to help me cope. I did eventually settle in to taking loud, long breaths and tapping something (my leg, face, object nearby). When I became so demanding of Eva's support that contractions became hard to time, we woke Mark up. I'm guessing they were 5 minutes apart or less for about 1/2 hour. We called the doctor, who said, "go have your baby."

The drive to the hospital was not too bad. Just knowing that we were going made the contractions easier to cope with. When we got there, everything changed.

It took over an hour for "Mean Nurse" to check us into the hospital, botch an IV several times (during contractions), and hook us up to all the gear and monitors. When she checked my cervix, I was still dialated to 3 cm! All that work and nothing was different. I couldn't believe it. So, when they asked me whether I wanted my epidural now or later, I said "now." Thinking it would be a long while to dialate the rest of the way and I was coping okay, but just barely. It took another hour for the epidural to be administered. The nurse checked me right after they got the thing in and I was already at 6 cm. Wow! If I had known it was that close to fully dialated, I probably would have declined and said, "I got this far, I can do it without." Boy am I glad they checked after. I needed, needed, needed that rest to prepare for what was to come. The instant the medicine hit my spine -- I smiled and thought "I'm going to be able to enjoy having the baby today." I know this exactly because I actually wrote down my thoughts... I'm so glad I did because that really cracked me up later to read. Ahhhh, to be so naive now.

.... to be continued.

look what i made

You may have already heard the news...

Zola Jane McCowen was born on Wednesday, Nov 10, 2009 at 9:57 a.m. weighing in at 9 lbs. 9 oz and 21 inches long. I will share a detailed birth story a little later on, but the short version is that it was very intense, long, and at times scary. Due to her size, it was a very close call on emergency cesearean, but I chose my doctor and labor companions well. I did opt for an epidural, but due to laboring for such a long time, it wore off almost entirely hours before she was born, so I still got to realize the emotional experience of something like natural childbirth. We gave her the name Zola after my grandmother on my mom's side, who I enjoyed corresponding by mail weekly with ever since I learned to write and until she passed. We will call her Zoe, pronounced with a hard "o" and hard "e" like Joey.


First of all, she and I are both recovering well. She tolerated the labor exceptionally well and just came out of the ordeal with some expected bruising and coning on her head - which is almost all gone now. She looks like she's a few weeks old instead of a newborn, with tons of hair, great pale skin, and nice proportions. From most angles she is really pretty (of course I think that.) My recovery is also going well. I feel like I just gave birth to a nearly 10 pound baby, but other than that, I'm doing pretty good. We were released from the hospital today around noon and have settled in at home pretty well. I even wrapped her up in a sling and went for a walk for a few blocks between feedings this evening.

We are getting to know her quirks and personality. I love her cry, which she doesn't use often so far. It's a little husky/raspy and she sounds like she could grow to have an amazing singing voice. She is really mild tempered so far. She doesn't like to have her diaper changed and she doesn't like to lay flat/still (but who would after being accustomed to being bounced around in the equivalent of a clothes washer for 10 months.) She loves hanging in a sling while I (or Eva) goes about our things. She is also a quick learner with breastfeeding and she definitely gets her appetite from me.

As much as I can see myself and Christensen traits in her face, I see much more McCowen. I think she gets a lot genetically from her dad. When I dig them out, I will post some side-by-side baby pics of Mark, Me and Zoe for some comparison.

This has been such a remarkable and emotional few days that are seriously and completely impressed forever into my memory and my heart. To quote The Man: "I can't stop looking at my daughter."

month 10

I can't believe our daughter is now full-term and could (technically) be born any day.

Evan, Eva and Brandy were here for the weekend. Evan and I spent the day running errands and going to the Pedersen Auto Museum on Saturday, which was a blast. Then Eva & Brandy arrived on Saturday night late and we had some adventures. A crazy guy tried to run Eva over and then smashed in her van window about 5 minutes after they got here over a parking space. The next day Brandy chatted up Mary-Louise Parker while she was walking her dogs across the street from my house (she lives on my block I think.) Then Brandy & Mark were extras on set for some filming of a TV show. My favorite was "An actuary, an accountant, and a attorney were sitting at a table..." jokes at lunch. Rarely does life provide so much laughter. I think it put me into labor a little bit. I had Tuesday off. Eva and Brandy came to my doctors' appointment and got to meet the other Mark in my life. He showed them the baby on ultrasound - we could only make out parts since she is so big... and listened to her strong heartbeat. He also checked me. Last week I was not really doing much, but this week he said that I am as ripe as a Trader Joe's Avocado and that my body does not have much laboring to do. My bishop's score was an 8 and I was 80% effaced (2 days ago.) I had been having a contraction every other day, sometimes every day. But the last few days it has gradually increased to several per day. Yesterday they got up to once per hour before subsiding overnight.

I made the difficult decision to opt out of my exam sitting. Yesterday was the last day for a refund and with all the contraction activity and my doctor saying he'd probably see me in a few days, I decided not to keep pushing so hard. So, I forfeighted the remaining study time and started my maternity leave today instead of waiting until after my exam/due date. It was too much to do and I need to take some time to rest. I came home today a few hours early and found myself exhaustedly out of breath just laying down on the couch. I think I did the right thing.

Especially since this morning I woke up with a powerful urge to move furniture around.

We got our delivery of cloth diapers from the service. They are so soft and cute all folded up. We are just going to do a 3-month trial to see how it goes because Mark is a little skeptical of how well they will work. I expect it to be just as convenient as disposibles (or more so) since they drop them off clean at your door and pick up the dirty each week and you just set out the pail on the day - no rinsing, no buying (they are rentals), and no losing your parking spot to run to the store. The technology has come a long way from rubber pants & pins.

Happy birthday Saturday to my Mom and yesterday to Brittany and Jennifer - who all celebrated milestone years (75, 16 and 29, respectively.) Just think, you were all conceived around Valentines Day. (Guess how I figured that out.)

Just think: next time I blog it will be to post pictures of my sweet little baby and give you the details of her birthday story. Incredible.

month 9

It looks like I am arching my back to stick the tummy out, but I'm not. I PROMISE! That's just the screwy posture that I have to have to stay upright. I have now at 128% of my starting body weight and most of it is right out there in front.

My coworkers threw me a surprise baby shower disguised as a "cookie baking contest." I really love cookies -- and baking -- so this was a perfect way to trick me into attending (and catering my own event!) I got to judge the treats (sugar rush for Zoe) and award a winner. There were lots of generous gifts and everyone was there. It was really nice and almost intimidating to see how many people took the time from their workday to come down and congratulate me.

I still have a lot of things to do to prepare. I have my birth preferences written up, and I am in the process of putting together the hospital bag. I am putting together a phone list of who to call. Right now, we are only planning to call parents. We will post updates to facebook. But if you want more, maybe ask me and we will set up a phone tree.

Mark took a day off and we went off on a baby-moon this past weekend. You know, one final sweet adventure as a couple before we become three. We drove to Santa Barbara and Ojai and did the old-lady circuit of antique shops, craft tourism, and hotel chilling. We made some startlingly good food finds and enjoyed each other's company. It put a reboot on all the stress that has been building lately.

I have been having a few contractions every other day, nothing big. She has moved head down and has dropped about 2 inches. I feel there is still a few weeks to go, but definitely I can see the end of the road ahead. Her movements are no longer subtle bumps, but huge visible rolls across my tummy that anyone within 15 feet can see.

She is "full term." I have had a few interactions with her that make her feel less like an alien parasite and more like my little daughter. We played a conditional kicking game, and I was able to feel her little toes. She got her first case of the hiccups last weekend. She is really active in the car (Los Angeles roads are very bumpy.) And she kicks me almost everytime I rest my arms on her bump.

Physically, I still have a lot of prep to do, but mentally I am getting more and more ready for her to arrive every day. People have been so nice. I am surprised at how much gear, clothes, diapers, and blankets we have received. Thank you everyone!

month 8.5

This is NOT our little baby, because we are too cheap to pay the $85 for a 4D ultrasound when we are within a month or so of meeting her face to face. But I just loved this picture when I saw it on a internet forum for women who are equally preg. I don't have a latest pic of me. Just imagine the last picture and add an inch. I've been feeling the stretch and enjoying the surreal realizations that HOLY CRAP this whole thing is BIGGER than me, deeper than I can imagine, and happening right now. It's been very emotional - in equal parts terrified stress and blissful happiness.

These last two weeks have been about trying to decide if we can afford to continue to live in Los Angeles once Zoe arrives, or if we have to move to somewhere with a lesser cost of living index. I think this has been one of the harder decisions we've had to make. We both love it here so much, it's hard to be objective. I can't say we are final on it. But we're close, I think.

We're keeping an eye on how low the placenta has shifted. I think the baby dropped today at 2:34 pm based on how painful and urgent that particular trip to the restroom was. I've had a few contractions now. The first one was last week. This week, I have gotten one or two when I lay down for bed here and there. I would like to labor naturally as long as I can, so I am doing a lot each day to prepare myself for that - as if preparing is even possible.

Mark realized that poop gets all over the babies butt and you have to wipe it off every time.

I played a poke each other game with Zoe's foot - I think she was responding because if I changed where I poked, she poked back in that spot. It was pretty amazing. Everything about this is pretty amazing.

month eight

I started getting the urge to spring clean out all the nooks and crannies of our home, purge all the unnecessary storage, and make some room for our baby gear. I've found a couple of drawers in the hall cabinet for Zoe's little adorable wardrobe and linens and have organized it with a drawer map, even. I'm designing and sewing a little plushie doll for Zoe as my creative outlet during breaks from studying for exams on the weekends.

I noticed my first stretchmarks this week and with it, some serious internal stretching pain. It feels like my abdominal walls are tearing apart and that the baby picks the weakest spot on the wall to kick... hard. I felt her knee this week. I think she's so big that I can feel her swirling even when she is sleeping. She moves almost constantly now. I started listening to my birth relaxation CDs and find that I sleep really well when I do. I also sleep more than I am awake now. I'm tired. The pregnancy hormones still make me a morning person and my exam study is going well thanks to that extra few hours of high productivity in the morning that I am trading for the low productivity evenings of falling asleep early.

I'm carb loading - potatoes sound lovely. Especially when mixed with something fatty like bacon and cheese. And there are so many wonderful ways to cook potatoes with bacon and cheese. Still eating a lot of fruit and taking walks daily. But, I've added cookies and second breakfast to the routine.

Eva has set a date for the Utah baby shower tentatively for the day before Thanksgiving. I should have some kind of registry set up soon for those who have been wondering out loud what we still need. I have finalized our travel arrangements to be there, so everyone in UT can look forward to snuggling that brand-spanking new nubbin.

month seven

Third trimester, here I come.

I'm having the most textbook pregnancy ever. This month was filled with a lot of running around making fun so I really tested my boundaries. I can still walk a lot, carry a lot, and generally do most everything I ever did. No, I'm not jumping on a skateboard or going to a wine testing, so you can relax. But, I continue to be pretty active and am taking my long walks at lunch and evening.

I put on more weight in my face, arms, hips, etc. In other words, that basketball I hoped to hide under my shirt is now an ephemeral hoop dream. I blame yogurtland. It's Pomegranete-raspberry tart wonderfulness is the final evil upon the world and will cause all humans to destroy one another eventually.

The little girl is now too large to do flips in my uterus and is getting so much stronger. You can see my tummy bounce when she is active. She likes to stick some appendage up under my ribcage and into my lungs from time to time. I can tell if she is sideways or up-and-down and am getting to know her daily rhythms. When she stretches while she rolls, it feels gives me a internal flesh-crawling sensation and you can totally see her butt jutting out in the asymmetry of my bump. She should be about 2.3 pounds and 15 inches long by now. I still crave more fresh veggies and fruits than anything else.

We are starting to make concrete arrangements to welcome this little life: staging all the things we will need, cleaning, gathering, sorting, washing and folding clothes and little finger sized socks. I started the registry, but had no idea how difficult it would be to figure out what to put on it. We have been gifted so much that only the things you need tons of or don't know you need until you need them are left: medicines, wipes, etc. It's hardly the sexy type of thing that people want to get for you. And I doubt anyone will give us round trip airfare to Denmark. But, that would be cool, wouldn't it? (They don't have it at the store I'm registering at, so I guess we'll have to think of something else.)

This whole thing still feels so unreal. It's just a really big step and is hard to process. I see a little baby in a stroller and either get all goofy-happy inside or start to hyperventilate. I think that when you have an awesome relationship with your spouse, it's hard to transition to being "three" without some concern about what you are giving up. I know that Mark and I approach everything with really realistic expectations, and that is the most crucial ingredient for satisfaction with outcomes. So, logically, I know. Everything. Will. Be. Okay.

I can't hear that enough. That and that my husband will still love me when I am a deflated lactating balloon with a wailing detachable Dictator.

month six

I am feeling pretty good, considering my girth - a 14.0% increase at this two-thirds mark! The weight is the main thing at this point, as most of my other "symptoms" have subsided. Maybe at one point I will put together a growth chart. That seems like something I'd enjoy. I am no longer having very strong cravings, have a little more energy, and (like I said) feel pretty good.

I went to Houston for the 4th and we've been Summer-Fun-O-Rama-ing with Stephanie since I got back.

The baby has moved up (and out) some and is now prominently showcasing herself on top of my sciatic nerve. (Hasn't even been born yet and is already getting on my nerve.... ha ha.) The stretching of my body has passed a critical mass where my round ligaments are now loose as a goose and she can move about the cabin freely, as can I without pulling something. So we are both getting around better. I really enjoy my evening walks, which take the pressure off my pelvis after sitting all day at work and have been sleeping better. Stephanie got to be the first one to feel her movement from the outside last Wednesday. She is strong enough that if I'm crossing my arms, you can see them bouncing when she kicks them.

We are registered for child birth classes and have started making arrangements for her arrival. I got a few little teeny-tiny spring dresses and some ideas for some crafty goodness to enjoy to her benefit before she gets here.

Negotiations on her name are still technically open, and I think they will be until we are forced by the hospital staff to write something down. At which point, I'm 99% sure we will write down the only name we have considered up to this point. But, don't be surprised when the announcements go out if it's something else. These things happen. We're a crazy, spontaneous couple of kids. We might just go nuts and throw something else out there.

I haven't really thought much about things like a baby shower. The folks at work usually throw one, and that will probably be it. We'll probably be having an "after-birth party" (ha ha) in Utah around Thanksgiving so all the folks home for the holiday can meet her.

side-by-side

I was hanging out with Brandi Hogan last week and we snapped a picture of our equally pregnant tum-tums. Love that photoshop...;) Anyway, I made Brandi scootch down to my height so that our bumps could be lined up. What you can tell is that my butt is five times bigger than hers (we knew that, right?) Fun times.

month five

We made it to the half-way point and we're hanging in there.

I am now sleeping only on my left side, and hobbling in the popular Christensen fashion. I have really enjoyed me some (eg: my body weight in) potato salad & greek salad. I'm past the "craving" point where I-know-what-I-want-and-I-want-it-now and into the I-don't-know-what-I-want-but-I-want-it-now point.

I have read my 1 billionth baby/pregnancy book. I have freaked out on people. I have cried at nearly everything sweet. I have gotten really nuts about random things - like pet dander (don't you think we should shampoo the carpets RIGHT NOW at two in the morning?) and skin changes (see this red patch on my knee that looks like a rug rash? do you think it's cancer that can be passed to the baby?) And I hung up a sign at my desk to remind myself to breathe, because it is all so much to take in that I really need to periodically re-evaluate, take a nice long breath, and relax.

I have gained 16 pounds so far, which puts me on track to gain about 35. I am eating a lot of healthy smaller meals and walking a good distance two or three times a day. I haven't cancelled my gym membership, but I think it might be a good time to. I don't see myself really hitting the gym for another 10 months at this rate of exhaustion. I get winded after the first quarter mile of walking (okay, waddling -- slowly.) I can tell that some of that weight gain is definitely going to the baby, based on the strength of the kicks. They sort of feel more like kicks now and less like flutters. I have also reintroduced a single cup of coffee to my mornings. It hasn't hurt my bedtime, which is now 8:30 pm.

The straight-on face shot in an ultrasound looks like an alien monster. Somehow, we will love this klingon skeleton.

More ultrasounds confirm we are now 100% sure we are having a GIRL! Today we had the ultrasound where the doctor went through to check every detail & vital part of the baby's body. He pointed out the various parts of the brain, the four chambers of the heart, the aeorta, mitrochondrial valve, kidneys, belly button where the umbilical cord comes out, etc. It was really something. We thought it would be 3-D & show the blood flow, but it didn't. It was very reassuring, though. The doctor ruled out spina bifida, cleft palate, and a few other things. He thought that there was plenty of fluid around the baby. The placenta was placed well (in front of the baby) and my cervix was long & closed. I know this part must be important because he repeated it three times.

actual size

This one is truly for you, fans. I personally am grossed out a little bit by my belly, especially in pictures taken with a flash. And so is Mark. So I apologize if you were one of the minions of my fans who begged for this. If you lose your appetite, don't say I didn't warn you.

Anyway. Mark was having a hard time visualizing the garden vegetable that is used week by week to demostrate the baby's typical growth. So I sketched out the measurements for him. It looked really big on paper, compared to the avocado or even snow pea of what seems like yesterday. So, to get a feel for the actual size in comparison with my tum-tum growth, I sketched it on.

Keep in mind that the rest of that bump contains my displaced bladder, stomach, intestines, and other smashed up organs - not just baby and amniotic fluid. It definitely looks a lot smaller on that now showing bump.

As you can also see, the baby's eyes are too close together. No, I have not been drinking. I'm blaming Mark's genetic code for that.

In a related note, I am reading the "give it to you straight" birth stuff that is usually glossed over in pregnancy books in order to keep you from trying to squeeze the baby out your nose to avoid. Bad idea. I should have stuck to catalogs.

Also, Wii Super Paper Mario rocks. Go buy it (used) and talk to me when you come out of your crack-a-thon in a month.

belt buckle and groin of america

What you see behind me is the belt-buckle of middle america. We liked St. Louis so much more than we expected to. They had Hardees and White Castle and protesters at the local planned parenthood and a disproportionate amount of overweight people (I could be heard telling Mark, "this is nothing. Just wait until we get to Texas.")

Josh and Anna's wedding extravaganza was beautiful, opulent, and over the top. We ate and drank well. (No, of course I did not embibe. What? You think I want a baby with eyes too far apart?) Probably the best part for me was chilling with Nick and Tanya at the Botanical Garden.

On to Texas... Hanging with McBro and Evan. So good to see those guys. We did way too much and a lot of nothing. Another botanical garden, a trip to Galveston Island to see the hurricane damage, take a Duck Tour of the downtown & bay, tour the police station and jail where McBro works, Nasa Space Center, and lots and lots of driveway chillin, barbequeing, and delicious food. No one can ever claim to be a better cook than Kim. I'm sorry. That chick has a monopoly on the title "best ever."

This is Nasa.

This is port-side on the Duck. I have a fetish for boats on vacation, so I am seriously elated in this picture for getting Mark on the water.

There is my little bump. I think it really started to pop out on this trip, because when I got home, I had only two shirts that could still conceal it. I guess it's safe to assume that it no longer looks like a failed diet.

Once swaddled safely back into my own bed, I slept 15 hours and then 10 hours the next day. Ah, the vacation after the vacation. My body was tired, but my mind was so relaxed.

I bought a maternity swim suit so I can feel the precious sense of weightlessness next time I go to the gym... which has been a weekly on Sunday routine for the past few weeks. I'm looking forward to trying it out. The heaviness is surprising (compared to what I expected this early on.)

In related news, I almost threw a pepperocini in my mouth and washed it down with chocolate milk. It sounded awesome. Luckily, somewhere between the refridgerator and my mouth, sanity kicked in just in time to stop me. Thank God.

month four

I'm sure, Internet, you are thrilled to find out about the sex of the baby. So I must divulge. I'm sure you are just dying in anticipation. But first, let me just say how things have been going.

All downhill... for now. This month has been such a piece of cake. I am rounding out a little bit, with my muffin top growing at proportionally the same rate of speed as my bump so as to just make me look generally round... no basketball shoplifting over here.

I am eating every two hours by mandate of my body... although with the whole muffin top observation, I have started writing everything down so that I will be tempted to pick up "apple" instead of "potato chips."

Here are some random items that I have craved:

• Fish Tacos from Rubios



• Dill Pickles



• Salt on everything



• Anything w/ Italian tomato-based sauce (lasagna, spagetti, pizza, etc)



• Salt & Vinegar Chips



• Potatoes (instant mashed makes a quick snack)



• Sandwiches with everything.



• Avocado



• Garlic Bread



• Jalapenos

Anyhoo, listed like that -- it does seem to have a pattern: tangy carbs. Mmmm. Tangy. Carbs. Apples just aren't tangy carbs.

I am still looking pretty good. No crazy complexion/pigmentation issues. No swollen limbs. No hair falling out. Pretty much, if it weren't for the failed diet hiding in my shirt, you'd never know. I'd know. It's hard not to notice the change in blood pressure everytime I shift position, the weird sensations, dizziness, headache, etc. Plus, I've started feeling the baby rolling around sometimes when I sit still. It still feels a little like a tummy rumble, but in the wrong place for my stomach. Granted, my stomach HAS moved... up in my ribcage. And those rumbles kind of freak me out because it feels like a heart attack. This has been the month of figuring how how in the hay we're going to pay for everything. I think I have us sorted a little bit. Surely there will be some surprises. But, at least we have a plan.

Speaking of surprises, some people would rather not know the sex before the baby is born. Not us. We had to know. Our doctor is 90% sure we are having a... click here to find out.

exam season's greatest hits

I am up to 3-4 hours per day of study. This is what I should always be doing, but I usually fizzle out at the 2 hour mark. I guess the 2nd trimester and the reintroduction of coffee has really improved my focus. (Don't worry, I'm only having one 1/2 decaf cup and my doctor says it's okay.)

The last few weeks have been a bit crazy... as always is the case as the exam approaches (next Thurs for anyone curious.) I have continued, as is my custom, to have a life. I just don't take as much care in documenting it as I normally would. I don't have any pictures from my "girls' night" at Mamma Mia! (on stage.) The music and costumes were great, but (and I can't believe the blasphemy of this statement) the movie was better.

The same weekend, I went to the circus for the first time, ever. It was small, but having nothing to compare it to, I was the most value for $10 I've had in a long, long time. A little of everything, and plenty of "akkk - don't die!" moments.

A highlight is that right after the show, Madhuri gave me a big bag of these maternity clothes.... pretty much everything I will need. Study, study, study and fast forward to last weekend... my BFF in college, Tiffany (who now lives 2 hours away in the desert) came, picked me up, and I had a weekend vacation on her turf. She took me for a day trip to Lake Isabella and a quaint town called Kernville where we shopped in some antique stores, got lunch and visited an old museum.

We spent a lot of time catching up on three years time, just hanging out at her place. We also got a drive through tour of the Naval base that she has been working at for the past couple of years as a civilian mathematician for the DOD. Then she drove me back to town and we caught a few hours at the Page Natural History Museum (Tar Pits) which I found out I get free admission through my work! You can look into the area where they are cleaning a big find, including a well preserved columbian mammoth. The tusk is longer than I am tall, I think.

As far as the whole preggers thing goes, I feel significantly better... appetite, energy, etc. Still wouldn't characterize any part of my life as "normal" -- but I can handle this part. I am infinitely greatful for the massage chair topper I got for christmas. I am trying not to think about everything too much (study, study) for now, which is hard. I let myself read a bit today and while sitting very still reading, I felt something. A flutter. Not gas. A flutter! It's early but within the range of plausibility - I think I felt the baby move! Wow. Still no pic of the bump to share. It just feels like the pizza and burritos I was once able to 'suck in' is now sitting out several inches - and who wants to see that? I know, fans. You do. Trust me. No one wants me to be a cute pregnant more than I do. But, you know not everyone has a cute little bump. I want to be one of those ladies who is normal from the back and then she turns around and you think - "wow... she's smuggling a basketball... I wasn't expecting that." But, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to swell up everywhere (given the current disappearance of my waist from every angle.) Don't worry. I will definitely post a pic - but let's just let it get it past the point of being mis-identified as a failed diet/exercise plan first.

Study, study, etc. Now you are all caught up to date and I should go study some more.

month three

We're still splitting hairs about how my estimated due date. Regardless of whether it is Nov 2, 4, 7, or 9... the title of the post puts this a few days early. But, you don't care. Right, fans?

Look at that thumb sucker up there. The head is left, highlights are forehead, nose, and jaw. You can see the bones of the individual fingers - 7 of them... (we got excited for a famous pianist until it occurred to us that it is probably the overlap of two hands) the spine and pelvis. The darker spot in the chest is the heart, which again I got to see flickering away. I kind of thought it was a pretty good picture.

Everyone is wondering... it's too early to determine the sex. We will try to see on ultrasound next month. We're crossing our fingers for a girl (hemophilia being the only factor) but we will be happy no matter what.

At the beginning of this month, I felt more pregnant than ever! Symptoms, symptoms, symptoms. But toward the end, I can tell that I'm turning the 1st trimester corner and starting to feel a tiny bit better. I still feel like the smallest trivial task leaves me ready for a nap (I have to lay down for a few minutes after getting breakfast & a shower in the morning before work.) Based on taste tests, I think my body's aversion to some of my favorite foods may be moving on.

We went to San Diego last week and (due to constant napping) I had not clean clothes to pack. So, I tried on the maternity pants that my friend had given to me... thinking they would drown me. Ahhhh. The relaxed waist band. The most amazing invention of all time. It made me realize how tight my clothes have become... and that I'm ready for that awkward stage where I have to choose between hoping no one notices my pants are not even zipped at all or constantly hiking up my maternity pants. Since I have a pair of work appropriate maternity pants, I went that route this week.

In San Diego we walked A LOT. Everyone says walking is the best pregnant exercise. However, toward mid-day, my tummy feel a "not-right" pulling feeling that made me decide it was time to go to our beach hotel and lay on the sand for the rest of the day. (yay! for beach hotels.) I called my doctor when we got home because I kept having the feeling whenever I walk at all. He assured me that everything else sounded fine and that I might have pulled a muscle. I opted to wait until my regular appointment on Friday to get it checked, because it didn't "hurt" -- it just worried me. I even went home from work early one day to rest. At the appt, my doctor again impressed me with how awesome he is. He actually read my chart before coming in to see me / remembered that I was the one who called. He said everything was FINE, but that I will keep having the pulling. It's probably the weight of my uterus pressing on scar tissue on my ovary from my old surgery. No big deal. And it shouldn't effect our travel plans in late May - St. Louis for Josh's wedding / Houston to see McKay.

first couple months

Ya'll may have already seen this picture on Facebook, but here is the 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks. Now that the secret is out, I will catch everyone up and then post monthly updates on how things are going.

Month 1: We found out. Early-ish because we were trying. I did not do anything crazy to tell Mark. I just called him at work at 6:30 am and said "I'm pregnant." He was really excited! He turned to his friend Gabe and said, "DUDE! MY WIFE IS PREGNANT!!!" Wow. I did some research on my health insurance and found Dr. Right. Google, you really do have everything. I was already taking prenatals and trying to eat healthy, so the only thing that changed was the freaky stuff happening to my body: FATIQUE, a bunch of bloody noses, weird circulation sensations, and eventually perpetual nausea. Regarding cravings, mexican food (which Mark would argue has nothing to do with the pregnancy,) chocolate milk, and saltine crackers.

I took a profile picture of my tummy -- sucking in, so I don't start out already looking a few months pregnant. But, lets be realistic. I had a pizza and burritos stockpile sufficient for someone to suggest I was already "showing." That picture will go to the grave with me. Sorry, fan base.

Month 2: This went by fast, despite the fact that I could have vomited on you at any moment. I got really picky about foods because the only time I actually threw up was when I put the wrong thing in. I rarely even got to swallow it. It and everything in my stomach would go. Mark had enormous fun talking about runny eggs everytime I went a little green. Thanks for your support, hon. You're the greatest.

My schedule got all out of whack. I would sleep from dinner to morning, study during my best energy times, work for a few hours, nap at lunch, and then work a few more hours and go home to eat and pass out again. If I didn't call you, I'm sorry. I probably fell asleep. Ironically, WITHOUT COFFEE, I became a morning person (I already hate the baby.)

Month 3 ends in 8 days, so I will post that later.