too much

I kind of feel like throwing up for a number of reasons.

Reason #1: Conferences are catered and there is a big pile of food you never let yourself have available every hour. Tarts, brownies, chocolate chip walnut bread, muffins... and the meals are over the top, too. Oh, and I never thought you could have too much coffee. But, I changed my position on that. If it is stout Seattle coffee and you are mixing it with real cream, chocolate milk, whipped cream, and chocolate shavings, you really should stop at one. Don't, I repeat don't, have six.

Reason #2: Conferences are so... I feel like I am being constantly schmoozed and marketed to by slick networking individuals. This is normal to everyone else, but it feels very slimy to me and I am way outside my comfort zone.

Reason #3: I miss Mark and feeling like everything is going to be okay and all the comfort and security that has been missing since we made this big move to Los Angeles... and being away by myself has really brought home how instable and scary everything really is. I feel like the child in the back seat screaming, "I wanna go home." Only, we don't have a home yet.


damhandiman said...

God only gives you what you can handle...ok you know what I think.
If life was a box of choclates I would be eating them all till I got sick and at this point I think I'm throwing up "life" choclates. I seem to squeeze more and more into my days as I watch my priorities slip from my fingertips in the death nell voyage to pay off people that I don't care about. My only reaction mechanism is self destruction and lude comments. A reflex I have gotten too good at. Here's to you finding your reflex and testing yourself into the better person you are to become everyday.

Mona said...

My reflex currently seems to be the gag reflex.

I hope we both find something less revolting in the near term.

Rachel said...

Well, sorry to hear about the "fun" of conferences, but I do hope you had a chance to see the sites in Seattle! It's beautiful up there! If I could afford to move back, I'd already be there! I'm jealous!