Random Things I Noticed Today:

The lady in the toilet next to me pees really fast. It’s impressive. She must be important.

The elevator smells like a rotten Veronica.

There is a taller than Six foot Asian Woman at my work. Almost as strange and the Black/French/Mormon girl I once knew. Some things are amazing only when they occur in combination.

A woman’s body type that doesn’t get enough media attention is the box. You know the one: hunch-backed, broad, square shouldered, and straight down from there. This body type occurs freakishly often in the office setting – and is generally a sign that it’s time to retire.

I bought a plushy monkey. I want to sew it clothes, diaper it, and pretend it is alive. On a related note… a pet monkey retails for $3,000. I am both appalled and intrigued by the idea of buying one.

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