labor dispute resolved

LOS ANGELES -- The brain returned to work two days ago after a long hiatus of several weeks. Labor striking has left a broad swath of functional tasks unmanned from Household Initiatives to Sweeping Professional Credibility, as brain service shut down at major terminals in both the right and left hemispheres over the past few weeks. This nightmare scenario has overlapped peak seasonal operations in the area of critical exams and holiday hustle. Millions of Neurons were disrupted by the conflict.

There has never been a strike of this magnitude in the brain's 31.5-year history, and recent developments in talks between the brain and Mona make likely that additional future striking will be averted, either through a last-minute deal or intervention by Medical Professionals.

The brain walked out largely as a result of wage disparities of oxytocin and seratonin between the right and left hemisphere, tough working conditions and unsuccessful meditation to resolve the conflict.

Siding with the unions, the hypothalamus recommended that wage increases be made retroactive and that labor divisions equitably divide the brain's resources. Mona, which relies on the Brain and its subsidies, is worried about whether it can afford the back pay.

Under the Brain Equality Labor Act, most disputes that get to this point end with a contract with the Emergency Scrapbooking Board. In cases when that doesn't happen, Sleep usually imposes the board's recommendations.

Still, officials for Mona across the country are bracing for the much hoped for increase in productivity as the brain returns to its acclaimed high standard of service.